Face Down
by TwilightGirl88
Summary: All Bella wants is to escape her horrid past.All Edward wants is to never love again.She returns to forks and reunites with old friends.Will they be able to help her open up again?Will Edward be capable of healing her wounds and her his?E/B.AH.MA.ON HOLD
1. Prelogue

**Face Down**

**Prologue**

On the ground I lay, motionless in pain,

I can see my life flashing before my eyes,

Did I fall asleep, is this all a dream,

Wake me up; I'm living a nightmare,

I will not die,

I will survive,

I will not die, I'll wait here for you,

I feel alive when you're beside me,

I will not die, I'll wait here for you,

In my time of dying.

**Three Days Grace – Time of Dying**

**Bella**

I'm lying on the ground, bleeding and paralyzed. He stands above me, hatred, fury and victory in his eyes as he assesses his handiwork. He leans down until his ugly face is mere inches away from mine, his foul breath hitting my face making me gag and cough in disgust, he smirks at me as he presses his gruesome hand on my bullet wound and squeezes rather violently making me whimper in pain; he stares at me waiting for me to yell, waiting to hear me scream, but I refuse to give him his wish, I wouldn't make his day by screaming.

I've screamed for so long, now is the time to endure in silence.

"Come on, Izzy, scream for me, let me hear you." He cooed pressing harder on the wound making me bite my lip with such force that I could taste blood on my tongue, I spat the blood onto his face making him slap her hard across the face.

"You are my pet, Izzy, my toy to play with. I will torture you the way I like, I will beat the living shit out of you, I will kick you as hard as I can and I will shoot and choke you if that's what I want." He promised punching me in the face for what seemed to be the hundredth time making me gasp frantically for air as I heard the sound of bone cracking at the punch. I couldn't breath properly and I started to hyperventilate from my mouth as I tried my hardest to breath.

"See, Izzy, nobody wants you, your beloved daddy didn't even come look for you, your best friends didn't come look for you, and that lover boy of yours didn't come look for you, and he never will," he seethed as he fisted my hair and pulled my head up a notch making me wince from the force of the pull as my head was oozing with blood from his baseball bat when he hit me with it.

"You will die right here, on this street in the darkness and alone, no one is coming for you, no one is going to save you, AND NO ONE IS GOING TO MISS YOU." He smirked as he pulled at my hair again and then pushed it to the asphalt so hard that I started to literally see stars, not that I wasn't dizzy enough.

He moved his silver revolver toward me again and played with it, throwing it from hand to hand and then smirked and looked at me for few seconds.

"I'm going to play a little game with you, Izzy, and I hope you cooperate." He said.

I just stared at him with anger and hatred but when he pulled a silver bullet from his pocket and armed the gun with it, I became fearful, and became even more so when I saw him turning the and then stopping it pointing the gun at me.

"We are going to play a little Russian roulette Izzy." He grinned menacingly and I blinked in horror as he pointed the gun to my chest and then firing.

"Oops, first one was empty," he grinned turning the revolver again and pointing it to my chest and firing again,

"Again empty. Let's see how the third time goes." He taunted as he turned the revolver again and pointed the gun at my chest again.

And that's when I knew that this was the time when it would fire.

The thundering sound of the bullet echoed through the empty street as he shot me, more blood oozed from my chest as the bullet penetrated me with a wrenching pain.

He laughed as he walked away to his black car and stormed away leaving me lying on the ground, feeling my life being sucked out of my body, my breathing was shallow and weak and I started to see everything blurred, there were tiny white dots dancing before my eyes and the sickening smell of blood assaulted my senses and I tried my best not to vomit, it was the last thing I wanted right now.

As I lay there, writhing in pain and agony, I started seeing all their faces.

Charlie who was the best father a child could ever have

Tender Carlisle who was always a second father to me

Sweet Esme who would transform into a fierce lioness once her children become in danger.

Goofy Emmett who was the big brother I never had.

Stunning Rosalie who was like a second mother herself after Esme.

Hyper Alice who would make me smile whenever I was sad.

Calming Jasper who had the ability to ease down any bad temper.

And Edward, who with one touch could fire my skin anew, and calm me at the same time.

All those beautiful faces were flashing before my eyes as I was lying, suffering and dying.

There was a strange screeching sound near me, and the sounding of heavy thumping.

That's when I heard it.

The voice of an angel.

My angel.

My Edward.

I saw his beautiful face before me filled with sorrow, pain and tears.

"I'll take care of you, love. Just hang on." He cooed kissing my hair.

"Edward." I croaked before welcoming the heavenly abyss of darkness..

**Uh oh, that's real bad isn't it. Well, you'll have to read the story to find out what the hell is happening.**

**And if you want to know what will happen, REVIEWS are the only way.**

**So, you who read and put on alert, review and get to read more.**


	2. Going Back Home

**Face Down**

**Hey everyone, that's my new story. I will not abandon my other two stories, but I had the ideas of this one and I decided to start it.**

**My updating will be a little late since I've started school again **** and my Italian courses as well.**

**WARNING:**

**This story deals with depression, abuse, school peer pressure, domestic violence, lots of language, and more teenage problems.**

**Also, this story has the angriest, most resenting Bella you'd ever read about.**

**If you are opposed to any or all of those subjects, please close your browser.**

***No hateful or dissing reviews.**

**Thank you.**

**01. Going Back Home**

**Bella**

I stood in my room staring straight ahead of me out the window. In a matter of minutes this room will no longer be mine. I will get in a cab that will drive me to the airport which I will ride a plane and travel away from this hellhole called phoenix.

Finally I will go back to my home. My real home in the wintry, foggy, rainy small town of forks, WA. The only home I've ever known, the only home that consisted of the people I loved the most.

My father. Charles (Charlie) Swan. He was the chief of police and he was the man I held the utmost respect for. He was the most tender, humble, and kind man in the whole world. He was the man that was made to be a father. The best man, the best father and the best friend. God, I missed him so much. I just hope he forgives my idiocy and audacity and flippant words that I said to him before; for the only reason I've said them was that I was forced in the worst most vicious ways to say them.

I just hope he really takes me in after the schism that I caused to transpire.

After my father comes my childhood best girl friends; Alice Cullen and Rosalie Hale.

Alice was the daughter of the town's doctor, Dr. Carlisle Cullen. She and I met when I was five years old when my father rushed me into the hospital because I fell from a tree when I tried dangling like a fricking monkey. I was medicated by her father Dr. Cullen who I had a little crush on till I turned ten, you may call it stupid but I was a little kid and he was so cute with his golden hair and baby blue eyes.

That day I was sitting on a stool clutching my father's arm while Dr. Cullen treated my leg that happened to be broken from the fall when a small girl bursts into the room and walks toward Dr. Cullen. He smiled at her and went back to treating my leg. I looked at the girl and found her looking at me with a small smile. She had the same pale complexion of her father with the same blue eyes, only her hair was black and made into a weird spiky do. I was a blubbering mess of course, crying and wailing because my leg had and owi and it hurt but as Dr. Cullen and my dad tried comforting me, the pixie like girl walked around her dad and stood beside me and grabbed my hand and clasped it in hers.

"Don't worry. Daddy is the best doctor and he will fix you." She said and I gave her a small smile blushing. Yep, that's a thing you'll come to know about me.

I blush like a fricking idiot.

That and the fact that I curse like a fucking sailor.

Anyway, back to the memory. After I was fixed well dad carried me out of the room after thanking Dr. Cullen for his help I felt the pixie girl tugging on my jeans leg. I looked down at her to find her smiling.

"I'm Alice. What's your name?" she asked.

"B- Bella." I said and she smiled widely.

"We're going to be the best of friends." Was all she said as she hugged my leg and then walked back to Dr. Cullen as I stared after her retreating form. Ever since then, we've been best friends along with Rosalie who was Alice's friend before me.

And then there were the other Cullens and another Hale. Emmett Cullen who was Rosalie's boyfriend; he was a bear like guy with dark brown curly hair and the same blue eyes Carlisle had, with a cute dimpled cheeks that showed whenever he smiled. And there was Jasper Hale, Rosalie's twin brother and Alice's boyfriend. He was every bit as gorgeous as Rosalie, with his wavy honey blond hair, sapphire blue eyes.

And then there was him….

My best friend…..

My safe harbor…..

The love of my life….

Edward Cullen….

Only the mere thought of him sends chills down my spine; chills of love, nostalgia and longing. He was and still my everything. I remember thinking that he was the most beautiful boy I've ever seen the first time I saw him. He was six years old; a year older than me and Alice. It was my first day in kindergarten and I was clutching Charlie's leg for dear life when Alice spotted me and started running toward me.

"Bella. Bella." She said in her sing song voice.

"Hi, Alice." I said shyly.

"We will have so much fun today. Don't you think?" she asked and I just hid my face in Charlie's leg like the chicken shit I am.

"Sorry Charlie. You know how Alice can get. I wonder how she'll turn up to be when she's all grown." A beautiful caramel haired and heart shape faced woman said as she clutched Alice's hand. She was beautiful, like a princess in fairy tales. She had the sweetest smile, the most tender features and the most beautiful green eyes. She noticed me staring at her and she crouched toward me and gave me a big smile.

"Hi. You must be Bella. Alice told me so much about you." She said.

"She did?" I asked peeking behind Charlie's leg.

"Oh, yes. She told me you two will be best friends." She grinned and I gave a small smile. She stood back up and was about to say something to Charlie when she was interrupted by a small boy colliding with her, she grunted and let out a small oomph. She looked behind her and I looked at the direction she looked at and I saw a mop of bronze hair that was wild and standing at every direction, I looked at the boy who owned the hair and my mouth fell open in shock. He was by far the most beautiful boy I've ever seen. He was pale with a small perfect nose and a somewhat strong jaw. Even at the age of six his jaw was perfectly defined, I wonder how he looks now, not that it will make us friends again. I'm sure he hates my guts after all the years of miscommunication; anyway, he also had the most piercing green eyes I've ever seen. They were the color of emerald green. He was extremely beautiful.

"Hi honey. What's wrong?" Alice's mom asked the boy who looked a little grumpy.

"Emmett won't stop picking on me mom." He said.

"Its okay, Edward. I'll make sure he doesn't do it again." She said and he smiled.

So cute.

Then he saw me and his smile widened as he came toward me.

"Hi. I'm Edward." He extended his hand for me but I hid more behind Charlie.

"Bella." I barely whispered as I also barely shook his hand. Damn my stupid shyness.

"Nice name. We'll be friends you know?" he said and I looked at him and then at Charlie who was grinning at us both.

"Okay, kids. It's time to go inside." A female teacher said and I clutched Charlie's leg more and he patted my head assuringly.

"You'll be fine, kiddo. You have Alice and Edward with you." He said with a smile.

"Come on, Bella. I will protect you." Edward said as he took my hand in his and surprisingly I took it eagerly and walked with him Alice right on our tail. I turned around and waved to Charlie with a smile and walked with Edward and Alice.

Ever since that day Edward has been my protector, defender and keeper.

Until the inauspicious day came along of course.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by the loud pounding on my bedroom door. I cringed knowing who was at the door. I know that pounding all too well to say who's at the other side of my door without even seeing who it was.

"Your cab is here. Get your ass downstairs. NOW." He barked giving three more forceful ponds before I heard his boots descending the stairs. That's when I exhaled the breath I've been holding inside of my lungs.

A morning without a knockout? That was new.

'don't push your luck.' My inner weak self hissed at me.

I sighed and grabbed my backpack and walked toward the door. I grabbed the knob and unlocked the door and then walked out. I turned and stood at the door step and looked around the room sighing in relief and feeling a small smile playing at the corner of my mouth.

This is no longer my room….

I walked down the stairs and was met at the bottom of the stairs by a piercing blue eyes glaring at me.

"It's about damn time." Phil snarled as he stood with his arms folded across his chest.

Fucker.

I gave him the stinky eye and walked around him and into the kitchen to see Renee sitting on the kitchen table reading a newspaper. The bitch didn't even raise her head to look at me.

God, I couldn't wait to get out of this house any faster.

As I was at the front door I was stopped by her words.

"Have a nice flight." She said nonchalantly. I gritted my teeth and took deep breaths fisting my right hand around the door knob. The nerve the woman had.

"Don't worry. I sure will as long as I'm out of this hell hole." I hissed opening the door and walking out slamming the door behind me. Not few steps I took I heard the door open and the unmistakable boots walking behind me. I hastened my steps and was about to reach the cab door when a hand gripped my arm firmly spinning me around roughly making me come face to face with the devil.

"What do you want?" I hissed wincing from his grip as he pressed on it knowing it will intensify the bruise I already had. He smirked at me and leaned in until he reached my ear, "I will be seeing you soon Izzy." He said and I wrenched away my arm from him and glared at him.

"In your fucking dreams, asshole." I spat and was about to turn and open the door when he grabbed me again and slapped me hard across the face.

Fuck, that hurt like a bitch.

'see? I told you not to push your luck.' My weak self said. Bitch.

"I will be seeing you soon, Izzy. You have a safe flight now." He taunted. I fucking hated when he called me Izzy.

"Fuck you." I screamed and nearly jumped in the cab ordering the driver to fly to the airport. Thankfully, he did.

Thirty minutes later I was boarding my flight to Port Angeles in WA, I booked a flight straight from Phoenix to Port Angeles instead of Seattle for I didn't want to have another flight. As I got into the plane the airhostess smiled at me and showed me my seat. I gave her a small smile and sat in my seat after putting my backpack in the bag compartment above me. I got out my IPOD and sat in my seat and put my ear plugs after buckling my me seat and closed my eyes as the hard rock music filled my ears. I've always loved listening to rock music but lately it's been the only music that would calm me down, that and classical music, but the classical when I'm officially weak and unable to fight back, the rock music is when I'm angry and want to beat the shit out of someone.

As I listened to the songs, one was starting that suited my situation now. It was Home by Three Days Grace. The words pierced through me. Every word was talking about me. The house in Phoenix was not my home. It was just a place to reside in, all the memories there were bleak and melancholic and I was definitely better off without all the shit that took over and overpowered my life. Why, oh why did I leave with Renee?

Oh yes, because she practically dragged me away from forks. Away from my loving father and away from my best friends. She only cared about herself and no one else.

She never even took a step back and think whether it was going to make me happy or not? If it was going to make Charlie happy or not? She only cared about her selfish miserable self which caused me everything.

I sighed and kept listening to my IPOD hoping and praying that Charlie would welcome me back home and not to kick me out once he sees me. I know that he wouldn't do that but the past three years I've been less than a daughter to him and I just hope that he forgives me.

I don't know how long I sat listening to the music but eventually I found myself asleep. How did I know I was asleep? Well because he was there in my nightmare or morning-mare was more like it. I was in the dark basement curling my body into a ball and trying my hardest to protect my aching body. It was dark; the only illumination was coming from a candle sitting on a table in the middle of the room. He was sitting on a chair and he was facing me with a smirk on his ugly ass face. He kept staring at me and I kept praying that he would just leave the basement and in turn leave me alone. As we stared at each other, suddenly the door to the basement flew open and Renee came barging in with a smirk on her face.

"Did you discipline the bitch?" she smirked and he laughed.

"I am. But you know how stubborn she is." He said back and got up, walked toward me and grabbed me by my hair and pulled me up to my aching feet.

"You will do as I say and you will get the good beating I give you." He snarled punching me in the gut while I blew air from my mouth trying to catch my breath.

"She's useless. I don't even have fun with it anymore." Renee said as she stormed out of the basement and left me alone with Phil who smirked once again and started giving me the good beating that I deserved.

I jumped from my seat as I felt a hand on my shoulder shaking me awake.

"Miss, we landed." The hostess said with an irate voice. I nodded and got up grabbing my backpack from the bags compartment and headed out of the plane. I went to the carry on bags, grabbed my bag and walked out to the fresh air of Port Angeles.

As I searched the parking lot for empty cabs, I heard my name being called. I looked at my right and froze. There, standing beside his police cruiser was my dad.

I could feel the tears start building up as I looked at the handsome face of my father. I walked the few steps that separated us but he was faster as he ran toward me and caught me in his arms. I felt tears falling down my face as he held me tightly and I could feel his body shaking along mine as he too cried with me.

"Oh, baby girl. I've missed you like crazy." He said and those little words made me go haywire. I started sobbing like a baby and he held me tighter in his arms.

"I've missed you too, daddy." I clung to him for dear life as I cried on his shoulder.

It was so hard and at the same time so easy. It was hard being in his arms and not feeling all the pain squash me infinitely for missing his fatherly embrace or his tender kisses, and it was easy feeling safe and protected in his arms but still feeling tongue-tied and unable to utter a word about what happened. Oh, how badly I wanted to tell him but I was afraid of what would happen to him if Phil knew I told my dad.

He already threatened me once that he would kill my dad and he almost succeeded before, so I kept my mouth shut and endured the pain and humiliation in order to save the ones I love.

"Baby girl, you're shaking." Dad said as he pulled back and stared at me with teary eyes. "Are you okay?" he asked with concern.

"Yes," I croaked, "I just missed you so much, dad." I gave a small smile but somehow he wasn't convinced.

Tell him, damn it.

Shut up. I hissed to my brain.

He gave me a doubtful smile and then took my hand and walked me to his cruiser.

God, how I've missed that car.

We got in after he put my bags in the trunk and we drove in the foggy streets of Port Angeles and into our way to forks. I stared out of the window at the trees and the greenery lush leafs that flew beside us. I've missed the rain, missed the fog, missed the cold and wet. I've missed everything and everyone about forks.

The drive was spent in a somewhat comfortable silence. I could feel Charlie giving me worried glances every once and a while but I chose to ignore the looks. I knew he suspected something was wrong, I was sure he took notice to my overly pale skin, vacant eyes and tired face but he didn't say anything. Yet.

Dad parked in front of our home. Yes, that small one story house was my home that I've missed the past four years, the home I was dying to come to and hide in from the horrid unfairness of the world. Charlie got out and opened the trunk grabbing my things, I took my backpack from him while he took my bag from me and walked the front porch stairs and entered the house.

Pain. That's what I felt once I took a step and looked inside my childhood house but I managed to hide it from Charlie.

No need to raise suspicion, right?

I missed this house and everything in it. Everything was still the same. The flat screen in the living room, the couch apposite it, the small kitchen counter, the kitchen table, the wall phone. Everything was the same, even the damn pain was the same.

Charlie noticed and gave me a small smile,

"The house was waiting for your return, Bells." He said and I chocked on a sob as it tried clawing it's way out. My dad was waiting for me to come back to him, and he left the house exactly the same until I came back to it as well.

I walked after my dad as he went to the stairs, he motioned for me to go before him and I walked up the stairs on my way to my old room. As I reached it I couldn't open the door fearing what I would see next. Charlie smiled and opened it for me and I couldn't help the tears the fell from my eyes as I stared at my old room.

Everything was still the fucking same. The dark purple wall, the light beige desk that was decorated with my old computer only there was a brand new laptop instead, the same closet, the same cloth hanger, the same full length mirror. The same everything.

"You- I- you didn't change anything. It's still the same." I choked and he grabbed me and hugged me tightly.

"It's your room, of course it's the same as you left it. Unless you want to change anything." He said and I shook my head profusely.

"No. everything is perfect. Thanks dad." I gave a sad smile which he returned.

"You're welcome Bells." He said then walked to my bed and lay my bag on it.

"So, I will leave you to unpack and organize your things and while you do that, I will be downstairs putting dinner on the table." He smiled and I smiled back.

He walked to the door and before leaving he turned and walked back to me and grabbed me into a bone crushing hug.

"I'm so happy you're back, Bells." He whispered and I hugged him clenching my eyes shut not wanting to cry again.

"I'm happy too, dad." I whispered back with emotion. He let me go and told me to unpack again then left the room and went downstairs.

I looked around me and for the first time in years gave the biggest smile.

Finally I was Home.

**Whew. So, what do you think about this chappie? Review and tell me what you think.**

**Song is: Home – Three Days Grace**

**Please Review.**


	3. My Life Is Hell

**02. My Life Is Hell**

**Song: Welcome To My Life – Simple Plane**

**Edward**

Fucking hell. Damn it.

Why do I have to get up at 7:00 in the fucking morning?

Right. Because I have to go to school.

Fucking school.

I mean I don't know why is it so important to go to school anyway. The teachers suck, they don't even know half the material they blabber about everyday and they expect us to do our best on the exams and shit.

Grow up already.

To other people, school might be the most important thing they could ever think about, what with graduating, going to college and seeking a respectful career, but not me. The only thing that matters to me was my music. I would spend countless hours sitting on the piano bench or on my bed with my acoustic guitar in my hands and I would write and compose songs. I would forget about the outside world and pour my heart and soul to my music, drowning in the enchanting hypnotizing melodies that stir the nonliving cords of my dead heart. I get consumed by the magical symphonies that became the only thing calming and helping me through my suffering.

You might ask why I sound like a depressed asshole who's spiteful on the world, and my answer would be I've been this way three years ago, and it has gotten worse five months ago

My life was the most perfect life one could ever wish for. I had loving parents, annoying but lovable siblings, the best of friends, and lastly the love of my life.

Her…

Bella Swan…

The girl who left me for misery…

The girl who ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped in it while bleeding.

The girl who I haven't heard a word from since she left for phoenix.

Her promises to contact me meant nothing to her, the constant vows of calling me everyday and seeing me every month were nothing but thin air, ink on paper, they were only lies that spilled from her beautiful lips.

It seemed that as if she couldn't wait to leave, to get out of the small boring little town of forks, even her promises of her loving the greenery lush of the grassy forest of forks were fake. She would always say that whenever she leaves for college, she would make sure she would return to her hometown, to the people who loved and cherished her. But seems that she became infatuated with the sunny and rich life or Arizona. She even stopped all and every aspects of communication with me.

She even stopped calling Charlie, her own father.

How ungrateful and disloyal could a person be?

And the thing that kills me the most is that I still loved her, I never stopped and I don't think I could ever stop loving her. She was the air I breathed, she still is.

The days that followed her departure were the hardest, especially after the first two months of her not being here. She kept her promise for two months, and then poof, no phone calls, no missed calls, no text messages, no nothing.

She couldn't wait to leave, and I couldn't wait to see her again.

A stupid moron, right?

As soon as she stopped every means of communication, I started to feel sad and depressed. I would call her cell but I would either be met with the voice mail or the sound of the female operator telling me the cell is closed, I would always send her emails and letters, but the emails would never get answered and the letters always return to sender. She didn't even bother to have the courtesy to keep them, or even throw them away, no, she had to bring them back to me, throw them in my face.

I was like this for three more months. Sending her an email everyday, sending her two letters every week, calling her cell every hour with no answer to satisfy me.

Until the day came when I realized she never wanted to have anything to do with us.

The day Charlie told us she stopped contacting him at all. He told us the same things she did with me, the unanswered emails, the returned letters, and the unreturned calls.

Charlie even learned how to use the computer so that he could be able to email her.

Guess she didn't even care about that either.

All that happened when I was fifteen years old, and ever since I realized that I was not worth it to her, that none of us was, I became a complete different person, I turned 180 degrees different. I started to withdraw onto myself, not speaking to anyone, stopped hanging out with my friends, I even for sometime stopped playing my music, it was as if I had lost my muse.

Not just that, I started getting rude and crude to everyone, not taking anyone's shit and never giving them the time of day. I even went as far as to make my mother so pissed at me that she slapped me one for raising my voice on her, which resulted in me rebilling more and leaving the house and not returning till after two days, I didn't even care when she cried and begged me to never leave again.

Her departure turned me into an emo jerk.

And her apathy turned me into a complete asshole.

I sighed as I ran my fingers through my crazy hair in hopes of taming the beast but I gave up as soon as I touched it. If I didn't practically worship my damn hair, I would have cut it off. I sighed again and got off the bed and went to my adjoining bathroom for my morning shower.

I washed my body with my axe body wash and brushed my teeth when finished. I looked at myself in the mirror and smirked deciding to forgo shaving my shadowy stubble for the day knowing how the ladies loved it when my beard tickled their skin.

I got out of the bathroom, went to my closet, and picked out my cloths.

I got dressed in a black low waist hugging jeans, knowing how the chicks loved staring at my ass, a white cotton hugging tee also for showing off the abs and biceps I had, and my black leather jacket that again the ladies went crazy for.

Hey, I'm a one sexy motherfucker, sue me.

I grabbed my school bag, Marlboro pack, Zibo lighter, car keys, and my wallet and went downstairs.

I entered the kitchen to find everyone sitting on the kitchen counter eating breakfast.

Even Carlisle was there, guess his shift starts a little late today.

I went to the fridge, opened it, picking up an apple and a bottle of water, and turned around to see mom staring at me with disapproval.

"Is that all you're going to eat?" she asked and I rolled my eyes.

"Yes." I said shortly and walked around her to leave for school. Don't get me wrong, I was never to arrive early or even on time, always arriving late, but I welcomed the idea of leaving home early with open arms. I didn't like the disappointed or pitiful looks I received from my family.

"Don't you want to hear the news?" she asked and I looked at her and was kind of startled by the intense hopeful gleam in her eyes.

I wonder what has her so emotional?

"What news?" I asked nonchalantly, but I couldn't help the feeling in the pit of my stomach telling me that the news were far from wanted on my part.

She seemed to be nervous and started fiddling with the hem of her blouse collar.

"Just spit it out, mom." I said impatiently. When she didn't answer I sighed irritably and turned to leave, but I only took two steps before the bomb was thrown on me.

"Bella came back to forks." Alice's words froze me to my place and made the bottle of water and the apple to slip from my hands and fall to the ground. I thought I heard her wrong so I slowly turned around and glared at her noticing that she and Esme were looking at each other with nervousness and a somewhat fear.

"What did you just say?" I hissed with venom soaking my words. She flinched at the bane tune of my words but remained silent.

I wasn't having any of it.

"What the fuck did you just say, Alice?" my voice raised its octaves and the silence in the kitchen made an eerie echo to my voice.

"Um, ah, I- I said that Bella came back to forks." Alice stuttered raising her head a little and looking at me warily. I was exceptionally angry and practically seeing red.

Why would she say that? Why would she press of my wounds?

"Is this some fucking jock?" I snarled.

"No, Edward. Bella did return to forks yesterday." Dad said and I snapped my eyes to him and the look on his face was a mixture of pity and disapproval.

If I haven't been highly respectful of that man, I would have smacked that look out of his face. Instead I closed my eyes and forced myself to go back to the major asshole demeanor. The face that didn't care about anything or anyone.

The poker face…

I opened my eyes again to see them all staring at me.

"Why the fucking hell should I care?" I said in a calm voice, too calm, the voice that said 'fuck you all', the voice that they knew all too well.

"Edward," mom said stepping toward me.

"I'm off to school." I said with a blank voice and turned around leaving the house.

As soon as I reached my car, I jumped in, revving the engine and flew like a bat out of hell. I pushed my leg on the accelerator wanting to runaway as fast as possible.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I thought.

Is she really back? Did she seriously return to forks after 3 years of distance? Is my Bella really back and I would see her again?

I slapped myself mentally. So soon I was willing to take her back and forget everything she did to me? I was willing to welcome her with open arms once more?

Not a chance in fucking hell.

I may still be in love with her, and it may be killing me everyday of my life that I'm away from her, but over my dead body I would grovel on my knees for her while she was the one who broke my heart. I would never consider it, I would never crumble in front of her, and I would never ever give in.

She could come, go, and do whatever she wanted and I would give fuck all about it.

I looked at the dashboard clock and stared at it in shock. I realized that I parked by the forest trail and just stayed for 45 minutes, my first class started 10 minutes ago.

I revved my engine again and drove to school. I parked in my space and saw Emmett's jeep and Jasper's ford parked beside me. I glanced around me to see the lot empty due to all students being in their classes already. As I got off my beloved Volvo, locked it and headed inside, I noticed a new car in park, it was a sleek 1969 black dodge charger parked at the far corner of the lot, away from all cars. I didn't give it much of a thought and walked inside to my class.

As I walked, I had a feeling that something would happen today, I don't know what but the feeling was there. I shrugged it off, reached for the class door, and opened it. Of course, every eye was trained on me as soon as I entered the classroom, one of the were the annoyed eyes of Mr. Varner, the math teacher who got sick of my shenanigans along with all the other teachers. I didn't even spare him the glory of my look and walked as if I was posing for an issue for fucking GQ to my desk and sat gracefully on my chair, opening my bag and slowly taking out my notebook and math book intending on aggravating Varner more than he already was.

"You're 20 minutes later, Mr. Cullen." Varner started.

"Yah, so?" I asked nonchalantly.

"Care to explain why you haven't been early to my class?" he asked.

"Wasn't feeling like it." I challenged staring him down. He sighed, shook his head and turned to the board.

"As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted…." He went off giving me the stink eyes, which I returned with fervor making him narrow his at me and return to the board.

Fucker.

After what seemed like forever, the bell rang signaling the end of the class. I grabbed my bag after stuffing my shit in it and left for my next class, which I dreaded the most. It was Spanish and I loved the language, in fact, languages were the second best thing for me after my music, but what was bothering me to no end was the person taking this class with me.

It was the person I once considered my best friend, my right hand man, my partner in crime, the person who backstabbed me and betrayed me the ultimate betrayal, the person who pretended to be my man while he took pleasure in making a fool out of my in the darkness and later in publicness.

James Hunter…

He was the first guy I befriended after my whole ordeal and were friends for almost three years. The first impression you would get once you see him is the he had the bad boy persona going on, with the black Ducati bike, the black cloths and the dangerous demeanor surrounding him. He was definitely the right kind of friend to me the past years.

That is, until he sold me out, until he betrayed me.

With my fucking girlfriend, no less.

I shook my head, emptying it from those memories as I settled in my seat but not before throwing a glance toward the gang as they sat around James' desk.

Yah, the gang, they were my men too, until they also betrayed me and chose James' side. Signora Gibe entered the class and gang said their goodbyes to James and left the class, but not before glancing at me and smirking.

Oh, how I wanted to bash all of those cocksuckers faces out.

Class started and five minutes later, the classroom door opened and entered the redhead beauty. Two years ago I would have been doting to her every move, making all her wishes come true, and she would have made my dick hard as steel with just on sultry look from her baby blue eyes.

But now, I couldn't even stand looking at the cheating bitch.

"Sorry, I'm late." She told Signora Gibe who sighed and went on teaching. The stupid bitch couldn't speak Spanish to save her life.

"Just don't do it again, Victoria." Signora Gibe said in English, knowing she would not understand a damn word in Spanish.

Victoria….

I used to think I loved her, but I realized after they fucked me over that she was nothing more than a fuck, and an attempt to remedy my Bella madness.

I was always in love with Bella, and no one else. I just liked to think I loved Victoria out of forgetting. And the funny thing was that it was James who introduced me to Victoria in a party held by one of the school jocks. I remember that night vividly as if it were last night. She was descending the stairs wearing a black tight dress that reached her mid thigh with a slit on the front that reached her bodice; the dress was as if it was painted on her, flaunting all of her deliciously hypnotizing curves, and it constructed against her pale skin; her fire red hair was held in wild sexy waves that made my jeans suddenly tighten and I had to adjust myself as I stood next to James gaping at her. She caught my sight and sauntered seductively toward me.

"Hey, Vic," James smiled as he hugged her and I wanted to punch his sorry ass for it.

"Hi, Jimmy. How you've been?" she asked and her voice almost made me cum in my jeans. It was sultry and seductive as fuck.

"I'm good, baby. You?" he asked.

"I'm great," she raked her eyes up and down my body and smiled, her eyes twinkling with a mischievous sparkle, "Who's your friend?" she purred,

"That's Edward, we're each other's men. Ed man, this is Victoria." James said.

"Hey, Edward." She purred again as she licked her lips.

"Hey, there." I controlled myself and gave her my panty dropping crooked smile and took satisfaction is seeing her eyes widen for a fraction of a second and she took an intake of breath.

Yah. Edward fucking Cullen doesn't fall alone, that's for fucking sure.

One week after that night we became an item and were fucking like bunnies in heat.

I shook my head as I heard the bell ringing signaling that class was over. I shoved my shit in my bag again and was about to walk away to the door when I heard him.

"Edward," James said and I froze in my seat. We hadn't spoken to each other since that night I busted his face off at his house five months ago. I ignored him and started walking but I just took few steps before a firm grip clamped on my arm and I felt the all too knowing rage consume me. I snatched my arm away from his grip and turned around glaring steel at him.

"Fuck off," I snarled which made him smirk. Fucker.

"Party at my place tonight, wanna come?" he asked.

Is he for fucking real? Is he seriously asking to attend one of his fucked up parties? After all he had done? And after all that had happened between us?

He was seriously one sick motherfucker.

I turned around again and was about to take a step when his hand shot out again and grabbed at my arm.

"Don't ever fucking touch me again," I growled and his smirk widened.

"Come on Edward, don't tell me you haven't missed us being buddies again, have you? I know I did. I miss all the shit we used to do together." He said with what looked like a longed tune.

Is he high or something?

"Come on Eddie," bitchtoria purred in the voice that used to send me spiraling into the lands of bliss. I glared at her and twisted my face in disgust as she looked me up and down and licked her lips. She was standing next to James who was grinning widely now as she inched toward me, her repulsive perfume attacking my nostrils and making me almost gag on the foul smell.

"I'll even let you join me and James on a three-way fun." She said loudly enough for me and James to hear. I saw James' eyes twinkle with want and I tried my hardest suppressing the urge to vomit. They wanted to have a threesome with me?

Fucking sickos.

"You're fucking sick." I spat at her and her smile dropped from her ugly face, I turned my glare at James and pointed a finger toward him,

"And you, for the last fucking time, Stay. Away. From. Me." I punctuated every word so that he understands. I looked at them both with revulsion and stormed out of the classroom as if my ass was on fire.

How could they simply just talk to me as if nothing happened, as if they didn't stab my in the back and had my life ruined for the second time over. I was the talk of the whole town after the fight I had with them, every eye would stare at me and every set of lips would whisper about me, speaking about the almighty Edward Cullen who was fucked over my his friends, who was the laughingstock of everyone, even my parents were more pitiful of me and I hated it, I fucking hated it.

So I withdrew on myself again, not sitting with Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie; always sitting on my own on a table in the cafeteria or if my day was too shitty I would go and set on the football field benches, or my car in the parking lot; just anywhere I found myself away from everyone.

I walked my way through the sea of students and as always, they would split as sea waves whenever I was walking, as if I was in a masquerade ball and I was a king or something. Before, yes I would have considered myself a king, an emperor even, but not anymore.

One more class was left before lunch and it was English. I went to my locker, threw my bag in it and got out The Canterbury Tales, notebook and slammed it shut walking my way to class. I entered the classroom and walked toward my seat not caring about the stares I still received from everyone around; I suppose it's a small town trait to be the talk of it for as long as you shall live once you were caught in an event, even if you left the town and returned decades later, they would still speak about it.

Fucking small towns' gossip.

Class filled with students and Mr. Berdy entered and started with light reading; there was a little buzz of talking between the students and I stared out the window not caring about the buzzing bees until I was assaulted with silence, I looked around to inspect and what I saw made my heart lurch. There, standing at the door was the epitome of beauty, the extraction of innocence and the essence of vigorous emotions was the person who haunted me for the past three years..

Standing there, was My Bella.

She walked toward Mr. Berdy and gave him her slip to sign it and then he motioned for her to have the only empty seat in the class, which so happened to be the one on my right. Could this day get any worse?

She walked toward the seat her eyes trained on the floor and as if she could feel my intense gaze on her, her eyes snapped up to meet mine and they widened in shock and her gasp was almost heard by the whole class who were already staring at her. She slid in the chair slowly with her eyes still trained on mine; they were still the rich chocolaty heaven I always dreamt of and found myself swimming in them, her face was still pale but it was no longer adorned with her enticing blush and for some reason that made me frown; she always blushed at the smallest of things, her lips were pallid and there were dark circle under her eyes, her face looked so exhausted and extremely tired, and then as I took a closer more enhanced look into her eyes I almost fell from my chair, the look there was not one of the happy young girl she used to be, the look etched in her eyes were of a girl who had lost hope, who was broken beyond repair, who was shattered into millions of pieces; I knew that look all too well, because I used to have it and sometime, I still do.

She looked broken, lifeless, dead and it killed me inside to see her that way, even though I hated her just as much as I loved her, all I wanted to do was reach out, wrap my arms around her and hug her to me; but as much as I wanted to do just that I couldn't. I couldn't let her in again, I couldn't trust her again, and I couldn't let her break my heart again.

How perfect is my life, huh?

**Oh, poor Edward, don't just wanna give him a big hug, maybe few kisses as well?**

**Next chappie will be up soon.**

**And FYI I am a REVIEW whore, so REVIEW…**


	4. Weak and Powerless

**03. Weak and Powerless**

**This chappie was beta'd by ADADancer (thatnk you for being a sweetheart)**

**Song: A Perfect Circle – Weak and Powerless**

**Bella**

After Charlie left my room and went downstairs, I started unpacking my things and reorganizing my room a little bit. I took out my clothes from my suitcase and started to neatly put them in my closet, next went my pj's, underwear and last my shoes, which consisted of my converse of all colors and few heels I liked.

I then started organizing my books on the bookshelf above my desk alphabetically first, then with the height, width, and color. Yeah, I seriously believed I had OCD, always hypochondriac with neatness and organization, call me a freak but that's who I am.

After that I did a little change in my room and when I was finished, I took a step back and admired my work, looking around the room I felt myself smiling a little.

This is MY room for sure.

I decided to take a quick shower to remove the filthiness of travel so I went to my drawers, grabbed a pair of black skinny jeans, a white fitting tank, a pair of flip-flops, a navy blue bra and panties and then grabbed my bag of toiletries. I made sure to take the bottles of shampoo, conditioner and body wash, and then walked to the bathroom.

As soon as I was inside, I stripped off of my clothes, opened the shower spray and jumped into the water. It was warm and soothing and it did a massive job in relaxing my tense muscles. I washed my hair and body, then rinsed off and then got out of the shower, I grabbed one of the big fluffy blue towels Charlie left by the sink and sniffed it to find it soaked in disinfectant and limeish smelling soap. I dried off and then got dressed. I walked out, took my clothes, dropped them in the hamper, and then went downstairs. I didn't bother brushing my hair; I was just satisfied running my fingers through the damp locks.

I entered the kitchen and found myself laughing out loud causing Charlie to jump and turn around nearly smacking his head in the hanged skillet. He was covered in white flour his once dark chocolate brown hair turned white along with his mustache, all his cloths were white and his hands were covered in dough.

"Dad, what the hell are you doing?" I asked with a giggle and he grinned.

"I was making you a welcome home cake, or attempting is more like it." He smiled and I suppressed the urge to cry. He was making me a cake, a welcome home cake too, while Renee hasn't even so much as handed me a glass of water for years.

_Don't cry, Bella. Don't you dare cry. _

"I thought you said you would make dinner, unless you consider flour dinner." I smiled and he scowled playfully at me.

"Dinner is ready, I just wanted to make you dessert, or again attempt to." He smiled and I shook my head walking toward him and taking his hand out of the bowl full of dough.

"I tell you what; you leave the dessert to me, because you ain't doing a good job, old man." I teased and he snorted as he washed his hands.

"Who are you calling old? I ain't old; I'm the bomb, always down with the kids." He grinned and I laughed out loud causing him to giggle with me, yah, tough chief Charlie giggled.

"Okay, you go get cleaned up while I clean the mess you made in here, and then we will eat." I practically pushed him out of the kitchen hearing him howl with laughter. I started cleaning and thankfully, it didn't take me too long. Fifteen minutes later, I was done, food was on the table and Charlie emerged freshly showered and clean.

We sat on the table and started eating enveloped in a comfortable silence until Charlie spoke.

"So, Bella, how was Arizona?" he asked and I chocked on my spaghetti coughing like crazy, Charlie gave me a glass of water and patted my back gently.

_What a good way to die, huh?_

"You okay now Bells?" he asked after I drank the water and started breathing normally again. I nodded and he sighed in relief and went back to his chair.

"So, how was it?" he asked again and I could feel blood rush from my face. Why did he have to talk about it now?

"Okay I guess, nothing like forks." I said honestly. To me, Arizona was like a prison, a hot burning hell that I longed to escape from the minutes I set foot in it.

"And your mom, how was she?" he asked with a sad undertone and I wanted to scream in his face. He was still grieving after her, saddened by her departure and was hoping that she would return to him. He loved her more than he loved himself and she never deserved his love. I gritted my teeth and took a deep breath attempting to calm myself and preventing my tongue from lashing out.

"She was okay." I said in abridgment. He looked at me with a weird look.

"Why do you talk like that?" he asked and I frowned in confusion.

"Talk like what?" I asked and he narrowed his eyes as me.

"Like you are forced to speak about your mom or something."

Shit. I forgot how perceptive he was; of course, something like the way I talk would never escape him, especially if it was about Renee. Think, Bella. Think.

"Uh, I guess I'm still tired from the trip and all." I averted my eyes away from him and looked down at my food now nibbling on it suddenly losing my appetite.

_Why did he have to talk about this?_

"You sure? You seem a little aloof when I mention it." He said and it was true. The few times we chatted in the cruiser, I was reserved and standoffish whenever he mentioned Arizona or Renee, but I hoped he would let it go, of course he didn't.

"Yeah, like I said, just tired." I said and he narrowed his eyes again.

_Please drop it. Please drop it. _I chanted in my head.

"Okay." He said and I almost sighed in relief but catching myself beforehand, no need to awaken his suspicion again.

We continued on eating and then after we finished I washed the dishes and took a closer look at the dough Charlie made and decided it was better in the trash. Charlie scowled and I grinned at him.

"It's no use. I'll make one tomorrow." I said.

"But tomorrow you have school." He said and my grin fell.

"What? I thought I wouldn't start till next week?" it came out as a question.

"You already missed a month Bells. You should go as soon as you arrived." He said and I swallowed hard.

I was not prepared for school now, especially here in forks. I didn't really care about the students, in fact, back in Arizona I had only one friend; Riley who knew everything about me and the abuse I was on the receiving end of. He knew I was returning to forks and he was ecstatic I was leaving the hell hole, but he couldn't say goodbye because he went out of the country visiting his grandparents in Germany. And the other students I would tell them off whenever they would bother me, so people mostly never fazed me. What made me scared as hell was that I would see them in school, which I would bump into them and I know that I would be stiff and aloof with them. After all, when you experience what I experienced, you would be distant and away from the ones you once loved and still love, you would feel weak and powerless because you find yourself unable to communicate with them in fear of ruining their lives or they won't accept you anymore, I guess the reason why I was handling Charlie well was because I was in deep need of a parental figure, someone to take care of me for once, even though I knew I would be taking care of him too, but it was the principle that mattered.

I was also afraid I would see him.

Edward.

"Are they in school?" I found myself asking aloud.

"Yes." Charlie said, knowing whom I was asking about and I cringed. Great, I will see them eventually.

"They miss you, Bells." He said and I cringed again. I was planning to be aloof and reserved with them. I wasn't about to cause trouble to them, especially after the threat I received before leaving that if I spoke a word to any of them they would die one by one. I knew he wasn't joking, knowing that he was more than capable of hurting them, just as he once hurt Charlie.

I remember it as if it was yesterday; it was right after Renee married Phil. The beating and abuse started after their honeymoon week and one time when he beat me and I screamed I was going to tell Charlie, he grabbed me by the hair and threatened me to kill him if I did. I didn't think he would do it, after all dad was the chief of police and he was hundreds of miles away, but I never thought he would actually do it. One day I returned from school to find Renee on the phone with Charlie. I was so happy and went to talk to him preparing to tell him what Phil was doing but the moment I heard his voice I retracted. His voice was throaty and tired and I started to worry.

**Flashback**

"Dad what is it? Are you okay?" I asked and I winced when he coughed.

"Yah, Bells. I'm good, just a small accident." He said.

"Wh- what kind of accident?" I asked somehow knowing what kind of accident.

"The brakes in my cruiser were not working, oil dripping or something caused the car to swerve and overturn. I'm okay; don't worry about me, just a fractured arm and a broken leg. I'll be up and running in no time." He laughed lightly and I felt my eyes fill with tears as I listened to him. He did it; he kept his threat and hurt my dad. I looked up and saw Phil standing at the foot of the stairs with an evil smirk on his face and that is when my tears spilt as he pointed with his thumb toward his throat and made a slitting move around it, winked and then walked up the stairs again.

That's when I vowed to endure whatever he gave me, for I was not prepared to lose my dad or any of my friends, even if they got to hate me, I didn't care.

As long as they were safe, nothing else mattered.

**End flashback**

I shook my head to stop the morbid thoughts and saw Charlie staring at me; I sighed and nodded knowing I would be fighting a lost cause.

"Fine, I'll go tomorrow. But I'm not going in your chief cruiser." I warned and he feigned hurt.

"You don't want daddy to drive you to school?" he asked with a playful look.

"Hell no! I would happily walk the three miles instead of arriving to school as a criminal in the back seat." I smiled and he smirked at me.

"Don't worry; it's all taken care of." He mused and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You will know soon and you will love me for what I have for you." He said and I smiled nodding and started doing the dishes.

After I was done, I decided I needed a little round in the neighborhood. I missed every plane and curve of forks and I wanted to spend sometime reminiscing my old memories of the green heaven of forks.

"Hey dad, I'm gonna take a walk around the block." I said after finishing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen.

"Okay, Bells. Just don't be out too late. We have some place to be." He said cryptically. I narrowed my eyes at him again and he grinned telling me that I would find out soon enough. I huffed and walked to the front door hearing him laugh loudly.

Dad's could be a pain in the ass sometimes.

I walked around the block smelling the cold fresh air and filling my lungs with it, I looked around me and enjoyed my eyes with the greenery beauty of the forest and woodland. God, it's as if I was away for hundreds of years; hell, it's as if I've never been here. I was like a thirsty person lost in the desert and raved on a water spring drinking with ravenous need to fill my thirst. Everything was different yet still the same, it was different because my eyes and senses were adjusted to the sunny humid land in phoenix, and it was the same because the green beauty was a constant reminder of my old beloved life, the life I longed for, the life I missed and the life I was sure would never have again. I may have returned to forks, moved back with my dad but I was never gonna be the same. The old Bella was dead, or at the very least shattered and broken beyond repair. I was a lost cause and however would try to gather up my broken pieces will either hurt himself and break with me or would get bored and run for the hills not wanting to deal with a freak like myself.

I kept walking until I reached the edgy trail leading to the woods. I took few steps forward feeling a little apprehensive, after all it's been a long time since I've been here and the last memory I had here was pleasant and I felt the I somehow was going to contaminate it by entering the woods.

I decided to leave it for another time, checked the clock on my cell, and gasped.

_Did a full hour and half really passed since I left home?_

I tucked my cell back in my jeans pocket and walked back home.

Charlie was waiting for me in the kitchen and once he saw me a smile broke on his face, which made me smile in return.

"So, you ready?" he asked and I looked at his smiling face with suspicion.

"Why are you smiling creepily?" I asked and he grinned even wider.

"We have somewhere to be. Come on." He grabbed my hand and practically dragged me out of the house; I huffed and did as I was told. He stuffed me in the passenger seat to the cruiser and went to the driver's seat.

We drove for about twenty minutes and then Charlie parked in front of a garage. He got out and motioned for me to follow him at the back of the garage. I huffed and followed him and as I rounded the corner, I stopped dead in my tracks and marveled at the black beauty parked in front of me. It was a black 1969 dodge charger, one of my dream cars. And before you ask, no I'm not a car freak and I hardly know anything about cars, but that doesn't mean I can't admire beauty when I see it.

"Uh, why are we here?" I asked Charlie without looking away from the car.

"We're here so that we can get this car for you." He said and my head snapped toward him so fast that it would have dropped from my shoulders.

"Come again?" I squeaked and he laughed.

"This car is yours, Bells, a welcome home present." He smiled and I stared at him with a dropped jaw.

_Was he fucking serious?_

"Are you fucking serious?" I asked and he frowned playfully.

"Yes, and watch the language." He scolded gently and I rolled my eyes.

_Nice words filter I have here, huh?_

"Really dad? You're buying this dodge for me?" I asked and he smiled.

"Already bought it, I just wanted you to come pick it up here." He said.

"Really?" that seemed to be the only word I can remember in my vocabulary.

"Yes, really, here, take it for a spin." he gave me the car keys and I about fainted. I snatched them from him and flew to the car riding in and putting the key in the ignition. The sound of the motor roaring made me smile. I pressed the gas pedal, dashed out of the garage, and drove through the streets of forks and I have never felt more free in my life, with me sitting behind the wheel taking control of the car feeling the wind blowing in my face. It was the best feeling one could ever have, for once, I felt in control, I felt that I was in charge of something, I was free.

I went back to the garage to see Charlie grinning as he saw me bounce out of the car.

"I suppose I don't need to tell you about the traffic law, do I?" he smirked and I rolled my eyes at him.

"Don't worry, pops, it was the spur of the moment, scouts honor there will be no more speeding." I said and he laughed.

"Okay, follow me with your new car back home." He said shaking the hands of the garage owner and I felt euphoria once he said **your new car**.

I waved to the owner with a small smile, which he returned, and I followed Charlie back home. We entered the house and I was about to head to the kitchen when the phone rang.

"I'll get it, Bells." He said and answered the phone. I opened the fridge, took a bottle of water, and started drinking. His next words made me choke on my water and started to cough.

"Bells, your mom is on the phone." Once he said those words I coughed as if someone was choking me with a plastic bag, he ran toward me and patted my back soothingly. Few seconds passed as if they were hours and I stopped coughing blinking back the tears that poured out of my eyes while choking to death.

_What the fuck does she want now?_

I walked deliberately toward the phone as if I was walking to my own funeral, I didn't want to talk to her, didn't want to acknowledge her, didn't want to even think of her.

I just wanted to forget her and her cruelness.

But of course, I could do that because Charlie was around and I couldn't say a bad word to her, so I decided to swallow my tongue and save her the tongue lashing I so desperately wanted to inflect upon her and played the role of the nice polite daughter.

"H- hello." I stuttered.

"Hey Bella, How was your flight?" she asked as if nothing ever happened and I wanted to extend my hand into the receiver and choke her to death.

Even thought I anticipated it was her I still was taken aback by it, I stood frozen in my place the moment I heard her voice. Is she ever going to leave me alone? Is she on some kind of 'let's torment Bella parade' that she was the vise president to or something?

She just calls to check on me after all the apathy and indifference she pulled on me? I did my best hiding my disgust and hatred so as to not warn Charlie, the last thing I wanted was for him to know.

"It was good." I said shortly hoping she would just hang up, but of course, with my shitty luck she's not the only one to talk to me.

"Good. Phil wants to talk to you." She said and I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from screaming. What does he want from me now?

"Hello Izzy." I wanted to cut out his tongue for calling me that.

"Hi." I practically hissed with what I was sure of a smirk.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, now is that a way to say hey to your step daddy Izzy?" he taunted and I gritted my teeth looking behind me and seeing I was alone, even if it was for few seconds.

"What the fuck do you want?" I hissed in a whisper not wanting Charlie to hear.

"Not a good greeting at all Izzy, and why are you whispering? Are you scared your daddy would hear what an impolite little girl are you?" he teased and I clenched my eyes tightly shut. Why does he keep doing this? Why do they enjoy tormenting and agonizing me?

"Don't you dare mention my father on your dirty tongue ever again, you hear me?"

He chuckled, "Threatening me Izzy? I don't think you're in a compromising place to post threats at me. Remember what I'm capable of and remember your place. That is, if you want your daddy and friends to live." He snarled.

He had me where he wanted me and he knew it. He was like a monster, feeding off of my fear and weakness. I was a bleeding lamb, and he was a wolf basking in the torment of his prey, and I had to remain silent, I had to feed him my own blood in order to save the ones I loves, I had to give into his malady if I wanted the ones I loved and cared about the most to stay alive.

"What do you want, Phil?" I asked in a weak defeated voice knowing that he's gloating on it.

"That's my girl. I just wanted to see how your flight was." He said and I snorted.

"Yeah right! Cause my well being concerns you." I mocked.

"You are hurting me Izzy, of course it does." He mocked back.

"Get to the point, Phil." I said impatiently.

"I just wanted to affirm that I will be seeing you soon enough, Izzy." He whispered.

"In your dreams, those days are over and you will not see me ever again." I said with a shaky voice knowing full well that I would see him soon, just like he said.

And I fucking hated it.

"Oh yes you will, Izzy, very soon." Then the line went dead.

I stared at the phone with teary eyes.

Will this nightmare ever end? Will I ever be free of this dragon's confines? He was a bloodsucker, a vampire feeding on my flesh and blood, enjoying the aroma of my affliction, wiping me with a fiery, notched lasher and delighting in the grievous pain he inflicts on me.

Right now, death would be a welcomed solace.

"You done Bells?" Charlie asked and I quickly put on my blank face, the face that I created a long time ago, devoid of all emotions.

"Yeah, I'm done." I said hanging up and I found myself forcing myself to give a small smile because Charlie was staring at me expectantly.

I guess the blank face won't work with Charlie without him asking questions.

"You okay?" he asked with concern and I wanted to weep in his arms.

"Yeah, just tired, I guess a day's travel does that to you." I smiled and he smiled back but it was off. I decided to take another turn.

"I better go to sleep, it's almost twelve and I have school tomorrow, right?" that seemed to pacify him and he nodded.

"Yeah, and you need to be awake for school. I know what a non-morning person you are." He winked and I laughed.

"Yeah," I said walking toward him and hugging him tightly.

"Good night, dad." I said. He hugged me back and kissed the top of my head.

"Night, Bells. I'm so happy you will be sleeping under my roof again." He said and I hugged him tighter.

"Okay, go on and get some sleep." He said and I nodded, going up the stairs and into my room.

That night was filled with nightmares.

The next morning I woke up with the worst mood ever, what with tossing and turning all night and the dread phone call I had last night.

To say I was grumpy would be the understatement of the year.

I was pissed out of my mind.

I got into the bathroom, showered, did my every morning routine and got dressed for school. I grabbed my school bag that I packed the night before, grabbed my keys, Ipod, wallet and black leather jacket and walked out of the room and down the stairs.

Charlie was already gone for work but not before leaving me a note on the fridge,

**Have a good first day,**

**Sorry I wasn't around to see you off to school,**

**Be good and have fun,**

**Love, dad.**

I smiled sadly and took the note, tucking it in my pocket and grabbing a granola bar, I would be keeping this note and any other note he leaves for me.

I left the house and stood for a moment in front of my car closing my eyes and inhaling deeply, filling my lungs with the rich cold air of forks. I opened my eyes, took an admiring look at my new car, and smiled as I remembered Charlie's smile as he gave it to me.

He sure is the best father one could have.

I got in and drove to school, a little faster I might add, and I found myself in school in no time. Of course, every eye was trained on me, since I was a new kid and all that jazz. And it was annoying as fuck, it was as if I was some sort of an alien or something. I parked my car at the far corner of the lot, giving the impression that I was not friendly and I was not looking for mates. I got out, grabbed my bag, put my I pod in my pocket and walked inside. Again, every eye was following my every move and I was this close to launch a full bitch temper but decided against it.

_No need for troubles on my first day, right?_

I entered the receptionist's office and she smiled as soon as she saw me. She had short red hair, which she wore as a ponytail, with beady black eyes and black rimmed glasses.

"Hello dear, how can I help you?" she said in a motherly friendly voice and I felt my heart clench at the tender tune of her voice.

I have got to stop feeling sorry for the mother I lost.

"I'm Isabella Swan, Bella for short and I'm here to grab my slip." I said and she smiled again and started rummaging through the stack of papers on her desk.

"Here you go, honey. This is your schedule, your school map, and the slip that every teacher signs on." She gave me the papers and I took them from her giving her a small smile and walking out the door.

My first class was trig, the class I hate. Go figure.

As I walked towards class people stared again and I stared back and rolled my eyes before opening my mouth,

"What, never saw a new kid at school?" I said and they stared more. I rolled my eyes again and kept walking towards class. The moment I entered class everyone fell silent and stared. I wanted to scream at them to stop staring but decided against it. I walked towards the teacher and gave him my slip, he signed it and gave it back to me. As I walked to the empty seat at the far left at the back of class I heard the students whisper to each other about me, I rolled my eyes again. I seriously have got to stop doing that otherwise they would be stuck that way.

As I sat on my chair, the teacher decided to be a dick and put me through hell.

"Class, we have a new student here, Miss Isabella Swan and I would like for you all to show her that she's welcomed amongst us." He said and I wanted to snort.

Welcomed my ass.

"It's Bella, not Isabella." Was all I said.

"Bella, could you introduce yourself?" he asked.

"I just did." I said rudely and the whole class was staring at me.

"Tell us something about yourself." He insisted.

"I just said my name, I think it's pretty enough info." I hissed clenching my fists.

I hated those introductions crap.

He cleared his throat seeming to finally realize I wasn't giving anymore information and he started class.

"Psst, psst." I heard someone pssting at me and I looked to my right to see a small girl with curly light brown hair and hazel eyes, she was smiling at me and she was creepy.

"I'm Jessica." She said and I stared at her coldly. I was not interested in making friends, not now, not ever.

"Why should I care?" I replied rudely and she blinked in shock and then looked back at the board as Mr. I don't know what his name was cleared his throat asking for her attention. She spared me one more glance before she looked back and concentrated.

If this was how it was going to be for me, I was royally fucked.

The next classes were pretty much the same, whenever I entered a room everyone stopped whatever they were doing and stared at me as if we were in a circus and I was the two-headed alien.

As I walked I listened to my I pod and the play list was on Weak and Powerless by A Perfect Circle, and as I was walking I was suddenly hit with a feeling of weakness, a feeling of powerlessness, as if I had lost every resolution I had, as if I was just existing, which I was, I was not living on the contrary, I was far from living, and all of this was because of that fucktard Phil and my bitch of a mother.

They ruined me beyond repair and I don't think I would ever be able to be the same again, even if by some miracle they forgot about me, or even if they whined up dead I knew I would never be able to forget or get past what they did to me, the pain he enforced on me, the hurt she inflicted on me.

They broke me, and I was eternally unfixable.

My next class was English and for some unfathomable reason I felt a gut-wrenching tugging to my chest but I put it into the categories of being paranoid and shook it off.

I entered the class and of course, everyone fell silent. I rolled my eyes and walked to the teacher, gave him my slip; he signed it and gave it back to me. I took it from him and walked to the end of the class seeing an empty seat far back, but as I walked toward the desk, I froze. There, sitting on the desk beside mine was the source of my obsession, the person who haunted my every thought, my every notion.

The one I was always and still madly in love with.

Edward Cullen.

I gasped and saw his eyes widen in recognition, we stared at each other, emerald greenery staring at pooling brown. I slowly sat on my chair, we kept staring at each other, and my heart soared at the sight of him. He was every bit as handsome as ever, with his tousled soft bronze hair, his perfectly straight nose, his chiseled diamond cutter jaw, his soft pink lips, his rosy cheeks, and my favorite part, his piercing intense emerald green eyes.

Shit, he was more handsome than ever.

He was beautiful.

He was a god.

And we just kept staring at each other, and as I stared I noticed that his eyes were somehow sad, and I believe I inspected a look of almost anger, which somehow made him even look sexier than he already was.

Damn it, get a grip Bella, he most certainly wouldn't give you the time of day after you bailed on him.

Fucking hell, my life gets fucked up by the second.

Could I ever have a normal happy life?

Of course not.

**So, what do you think? Love it? Hate it? Review.**


	5. Encountering

**04. Encountering**

_**I would love to say thanks to ADADancer for being the Beta of this chapter**_

_**Thanks honey.**_

_**The banner to this story is on my profile (made by the amazing mehek18)**_

_**And REVIEWS makes me HAPPY.**_

**Edward**

Pain. Gut wrenching pain; that was the only thing I was feeling right now. Just looking into her beautiful chocolate brown eyes brought back painful memories that I tried so hard to suppress deep inside of my broken heart. Despite her saddened and broken demeanor, she was hands down the most beautiful girl in the whole world, well in my whole world. As the class went on, I started remembering all our good times together. All the times we snuck to each others rooms at night whenever one of us had a bad day and needed comfort, or just to spend more time together; the way she fit perfectly beside me in my bed, the way her small warm body snuggled to mine warming me up to my core, the way our lips molded together in synchronization the first time we kissed, just everything we ever did together came into my mind which brought a small smile to my lips. Oh, how I wish she knew how she affected me.

I stole a peek at her beside me and saw her looking at me with her warm sad brown eyes and looking at them both saddened and angered me.

I was sad because she was sad, because she was looking at me as if she was trying to tell me something, as if she was asking me to help her or something.

And I was angry because she rose those feelings or sadness inside of me, she was rising feelings I so desperately kept hidden inside, I was planning on being an ass to her; never caring about her again, never talking sweetly to her like I used to again, never loving her again.

But I knew I was fooling and lying to myself, because no matter how hard I tried, she will always be in my heart, she will always be MY Bella, and her love will always reside in my heart.

Still, I couldn't deny my inability to forgive her yet, she hurt me so badly, my life shattered right after she left and her nonchalance really broke me.

If I was going to forgive her, it wasn't going to be anytime soon.

It will take much time, more than just few weeks or even months.

And I fucking hated it.

Class went on and yes I was staring at the book in front of me on the desk but I was far from paying attention, my mind however was spiraling with thoughts concerning the beautiful brunette sitting on my right. I could sense her being very close to me, her intoxicating smell was assaulting me vigorously, fuck, she smells of strawberries and lavender, just as always; I was well aware of her presence beside me, and I could even feel the same fucking electric tingle I always felt whenever she was near me.

Being without her was torture, but being close to her was even more torture,

Because I know I wouldn't be able to forget what happened,

And I wouldn't be able to forgive her just as easily.

Fuck, I'm screwed.

The bell rang and I all but few out of the class not sparing her a look. I ran in the hallways until I reached the cafeteria, I was one of the firsts to arrive and I cursed myself for my stupidity. I sighed, walking to the canteen and buying the sorry ass excuse of food and sat on my siblings table. I grinned as I imagined their faces once they saw me sitting on their table. It would be priceless.

Sure enough, as the students started to fill in, my siblings and their significant others emerged into the cafeteria and the shocked expressions on their faces were something else I actually laughed a little. Alice and Emmett were staring with their mouths wide open, Rosalie with an annoyed look knowing that I already ruined her perfect day, but it was Jasper who I actually didn't put in consideration, yes he too was shocked but under the surprised look was the look of the future shrink he wanted to be, he was calculating my move and having many thoughts about it.

_Fucking Jasper._

They collected themselves and walked toward the canteen buying their own food then waking to the table. They sat without a word, but their eyes were saying a lot.

"Hey, bro. long time no see around here." Emmett said with a shocked yet amused expression, which was Emmett, always joking and laughing at all times, even the bad ones.

"Decided to show my face around here a little." I said shrugging.

"Riiiiight" he drawled out, not believing a word I said and started eating his burger sandwich. They started eating their own food and none of them spoke a word.

Suddenly, the cafeteria went silent and I automatically stiffened in my seat, of course, Alice and Jasper noticed and gave me weird looks until Alice gasped rather loudly drawing the attention of Emmett and Rosalie who gasped too before collecting herself again and putting the 'fuck you' face on.

"Oh my god, she's here already?" Alice choked.

"Looks like it," Rosalie said with venom laced in her voice. She too was deeply hurt by Bella's coldness and was in my same place, hating her just as much as she loved her. She looked at me and gave me a sympathetic small smile; I returned it knowing exactly how she felt.

Slowly, I lifted up my head and my green eyes locked on her brown ones, she was standing in the middle of the cafeteria looking for an empty table until she spotted one, she walked with her food tray and sat on it. Every eye was staring at her, following her every move. She looked up and her eyes scanned the room till they fell on mine. She frowned and kept staring at me for few seconds before she shifted her eyes to my siblings and her eyes widened as they fell on Alice and Rosalie, then she looked at Emmett and Jasper and then took a deep breath, closed her eyes and then looked away with evident pain in her eyes.

Well, if she by some miracle missed us, it was all her doing.

I turned around and looked at them, Alice had tears swimming in her eyes, Emmett was staring at his food tray with a sad expression on his face, Rosalie glared at Bella with palpable fury radiating from her, and Jasper was staring at Bella with a frown and a worried expression on his face.

"What happened to her?" Jasper said making Rosalie and I stare at him.

"What do you mean?" Rosalie said,

"She seems sad and broken, something happened." He said still staring at Bella with the same weird expression on his face.

"She looks pretty fine to me, a little paler but whatever." Rosalie said and Jasper glared at her angrily. What was his problem?

"Since when do you say 'whatever' and become nonchalant to your best friends?" he said.

"Since they stopped being my fucking best friends." Rosalie hissed back.

"Don't you see how sad and pained she looks? I know something is wrong with her."

"Good then, serves her right for what she did. Tell me dear brother, wasn't she the same person you vowed to never speak to again or even think about? What changed your mind?" Rosalie mocked making him clench his fists.

"Her broken demeanor, that's what. And don't you dare tell me you weren't even happy by a 1% percent that she is back. I know I am, even after those years, and you know why? Because I fucking missed her, I missed my little sister." He snarled.

"I am your only sister you moron. She meant nothing to me the day she cut all communication with us. To me, Bella Swan is dead." Rosalie spat making us gasp.

Even I was a little shocked to hear her say that. But one look at her teary eyes made sense to me. Rosalie had terrible times when Bella left, especially with her trauma with Royce King. I shuddered at the thought, he's dead now, dirty fucker.

"Rose, you don't mean that," Alice said and Rosalie glared at her.

"Yes I do. Where was she when I was hurting? Where was she when I was pained? Where was she when I was in need of a friend when I was fucking raped? She was in Arizona, enjoying the fucking sun while I sat here mourning the loss of one of my sister and the loss of my innocence. So, excuse me for not forgiving her and not considering her amongst the living." She got up from her chair rather loudly causing several eyes to look at us and then stormed out of the cafeteria but not before throwing a viper glare at Bella. I looked at Bella to see her with a pained expression on her face. She looked as if she wanted to say something, but decided against it.

"I better go check on Rosie." Emmett mumbled getting up and walking out giving Bella a sad disappointed look.

"I'm gonna go say hi." Alice said and I whipped my head toward her giving her a menacing glare of my own.

"You will do no such thing, Marie Alice Cullen." I used her full name knowing how she feared it when I used it.

"I miss her and she's my best friend, Edward." She said heatedly.

"Was, Alice. She WAS your best friend." I hissed and she cringed at my hard tune shrinking into Jasper's arms who glared at me.

"Stop being a fucking idiot Edward." He snapped.

"Stop being a fucking pussy, Jasper. She's no longer our best friend, no longer our sister, and sure as fuck no longer my fucking girl." I snarled pushing off the table angrily and walking out of the cafeteria but not before giving Bella a venomous glare.

Damn straight, she's no longer my girl, and never will be again.

**Bella**

Electrified, that's how I felt sitting beside Edward, he still has the same effect he always had on me, and that smell of his, god, he always smelled great, of musk and cologne and Edward, only this time it was mixed with the smell of his leather jacket and cigarettes. He was still the beautiful god I always knew him to be; only now he looked older, manlier with an edge to his features.

He looked almost dangerous.

Once the bell rang, he flew out of class as if his ass was on fire and I knew it had to do with me. I sighed collecting my things and walked out of class. Thankfully, no one tried making a conversation with me and I hoped it would stay that way.

As I walked to the cafeteria, I noticed a gang by the lockers. They were four boys and four girls and they all looked pretty, with the same dangerous edge on the boys' features, specifically a boy with shoulder length dirty blond hair and broad shoulders, his body was similar to Edwards', lanky but with defined muscles, there was a wild red haired girl all over him, but his eyes followed my every move, staring at me with crystal blue eyes and narrowing a little as if he was trying to figure something out.

I shrugged it off and walked on my way to the cafeteria.

And of course, once I entered the whole place fell silent.

For the love god, stop it already.

I inwardly rolled my eyes and went to grab my food. One look at it made me wrinkle my nose in disgust, how do they eat this shit was beyond me. I sighed and grabbed a pack of fries (the only edible thing around here), a can of mountain dew and walked in search of an empty table for I was far from making friendly conversations with anyone. I spotted an empty table at the far side and walked toward it. As I sat my eyes wandered around and they froze at a pair of emerald green eyes, he was staring at me just as much as I was staring at him, seconds passed like hours as we stared at each other until he finally looked away, I allowed myself to look to the ones sitting with him and I felt my heart clutch with pain; he was sitting with the people who once were my best friends; I could see that Alice had unshed tears in her eyes as she stared at me which made me hate myself even more, I caused this, I made them feel sadness and pain; I looked at Jasper to see him staring at me with an unfathomable expression on his face, it was a mixture between worry and calculation? It was as if he was trying to read my mind or understand something, and I didn't like that look, not one bit.

It was as if he knew something was up, as if he knew what happened.

I quickly looked away at Emmett to see him staring at his food with a sad look.

_Again, my damn fault._

But the look that floored me was Rosalie's, she was glaring venomously at me, her baby blue eyes staring at me with palpable anger and hate? I knew they would hate me but if I was being honest Rosalie's look hurt the most, it was as if she was yelling for me to leave again and to never come back. It was as if I no longer mattered. And it hurt like a bitch.

I looked down at my food, nibbled on my now cold fries, and grimaced. School food sucked ass. I took a sip from my mountain dew and then put it down glancing at their table. They were having a heated conversation. Alice was crying now, Jasper glared at Rosalie in fury, Emmett frowning, Rosalie beyond furious, and Edward was just as much as angry as Rosalie was. Suddenly, Rosalie said something that abruptly ended their discussion and she violently pushed away from the table storming out of the cafeteria but not before throwing me with an ice cold and hateful glare that cut through my heart. She really did hate me.

Few seconds later Emmett went after her, giving me what looked like a disappointed look that also hurt like hell.

I looked back at their table to see Edward speaking heatedly to Alice causing more tears to fall from her eyes and her cringing into Jasper who wrapped her protectively in his arms and glared at Edward. They exchanged few angry words and then Edward got up storming out of the cafeteria but not before giving me a glance that was similar to the one Rosalie gave me.

Yes, I was definitely not on their list of favorite things.

I glanced at Alice and Jasper to see them staring at me, I looked away grabbing my food tray and bag walking out, throwing the tray in the trash and walking to my next class, lunch hour was already over so I figured I walk slowly to class.

I reached the class and again everyone fell silent as I entered. I silently went to the teacher, let him sign my slip and went to the empty table he motioned for me to sit in. I went and sat, taking out my biology book, a notebook and waited for the teacher to begin. Few seconds later a boy with blue eyes, blond spiked hair and a height of 5'7 walked toward me with a smile. I stared straight ahead, as he sat in the stool next to mine, he stared at me for few seconds before he spoke.

"You must be Isabella, I'm Mike." He said with an overly friendly tune.

"It's Bella." I said without looking at him,

"Bella, nice name; so, wanna hang out with my gang?" he said with a smug tone that made me turn and look at him. He tried to come off as the cool bad boy demeanor but it was far from it on him.

_'I know a bad boy when I see him, and you ain't one.' I thought._

Riley is a bad boy, Edward is a bad boy, hell the blond creepy guy I saw staring at me is defiantly a bad boy, but this Mike guy is far from it.

"And where is your gang?" I made air quotes on the word 'gang'.

"There, those five guys over there." He pointed behind me and I turned to look at the so called bad ass gang. The Jessica check who tried getting friendly with me was staring at me with little fear causing me to smirk at her, next to her was a bleach blonde girl who just from looking at her had the word BITCH all over her, next was an Asian guy with greasy black hair, next was an African American boy who stared at me more than I liked, next was a mousy girl with black hair, glasses and a shy demeanor to her, she was the only one I liked of them all, but wanting to befriend her or even speak to her was not worth getting into this gang.

"No thanks, I'll pass." I said looking straight ahead again. I could see Mike gaping at me from the corner of my eyes, I looked at him and rolled my eyes motioning for him to go to his table but he was gullible or something so I had to be a bitch to him.

"Now if you don't mind, I would like for you to leave me the fuck alone." I spat smirking as his eyes widened in shock and he scurried away to his table.

Yes, little boy. You ain't interesting me.

Just before the teacher started, the door to the classroom opened and entered…

Fucking hell.

Edward.

He strode somewhat angrily inside and as he walked toward me he froze glaring at me and then to the teacher then back at me. He walked to the teacher and asked him something in a hushed tone but the teacher's answer was loud and clear.

"I'm sorry; Mr. Cullen but you will be having a lab partner with you." He said and Edward sighed angrily and walked hastily to where I sat and I felt my heart pounding in my ears. He was my lab partner? I was going to sit right beside him? We shared a fucking table?

My life couldn't be any better and worse at the same time.

**Edward**

I stormed out of the cafeteria and went to the parking lot wanting to have a little time of my own before biology class started, as I passed the sitting benches I saw Emmett holding Rosalie as she cried, it was rare when Rosalie cried and when she did it meant that she was tearing up inside, she cried after Bella cut us out, cried when that asshole Royce raped her and now she's crying because of them both.

I stormed to my car, getting in and locking the doors. I was fuming, anger coursing and rushing through my veins; I wanted to hit something, hit someone, I wanted to do all the unimaginable destructive things but I couldn't so instead I pounded my fists on the steering wheel and growled in anger and frustration.

Why did she come back? We were moving on without her, we were managing just fine and she had to return and ruin everything once again.

Damn it, I hate her.

I love her.

No, I fucking hate her.

Fuck, I don't know what I feel anymore, if I hate her or love her I just don't know.

And it's driving me fucking insane.

Few seconds later there was a knock on my window, I looked to my right to see Emmett looking at me with sad eyes; I looked at the dashboard clock and noticed that biology was about to start. I sighed and then opened the door.

"You okay bro?" he asked,

"Yeah, fine." I was back to the impassive face.

I saw Rosalie frowning but I could also see her red puffy eyes and I hated it because I knew she was hurting, maybe more so than the rest of us, yes we argued and fought a lot but we loved each other like brother and sister and we couldn't handle seeing the other hurting. I gave her a small smile and she returned it with one of her own before she walked away to her next class followed by Emmett who gave me a squeeze on my shoulder before leaving. I took a deep breath and walked inside heading to my biology class and the minute I entered the classroom I wish I hadn't.

There, sitting on the stool next to mine was…

Bella..

Damn it all to hell.

I angrily went to Mr. Banner and asked him to change my table and the fucker said no. I sighed deeply and walked again angrily to my table, sat on my stool and pulled it as far away from hers as possible.

"Today we will be going through the phases of mitosis and the first pair who gets it right is gonna win, the golden onion." Banner started making me snort, what was with him and his interest in this shit. It was far too infuriating.

"Now, each one of you will be working on the phases as partners, you will look through the microscope and you will write the phase in the paper slip in front of you."

Excuse me? Did I just hear him right? Apparently I did because I could feel Bella's body stiffening beside me, yep, I heard him right.

So, we're going to be working on this together? As in talking to each other?

Hell no.

I started to say something to Banner but the asshole glared at me,

"I suggest you start working with your lab partner Mr. Cullen that is unless you would like to get an F on this material." He smirked and I bit my tongue from lashing out profanities at him. I glanced a sideway look at Bella and saw a deep frown on her eyebrows and I suddenly got the urge to lean in and smooth the crevice between her eyebrows but decided against it. I sighed irritably and decided to get it over with.

I grabbed the microscope and put the glass slide in it looking at it briefly and then taking my pen and writing the answer on the paper.

"It's prophase." I said as I dislodged the microscope toward her, for few moments nothing happened and I looked at her to find her staring wide-eyed at me, her eyes, god her eyes were giving me chills of pleasure, those big innocent doe chocolate eyes were making me feel as if I were in another world, with her hypnotizing looks and long thick lashes, she will be the death of me. She seemed to wake up from her stupor and put another glide in the microscope and looked at it also briefly.

"Anaphase." She said as she wrote it on her paper, and now it was my turn to gape.

Her voice, was angelic as ever, sounded like symphonies and bells and wind chime, it enveloped me as if it were a woman enveloping her lover, it was sweet, low yet sturdy and I found myself fantasizing about the many ways I wanted her to say my name, whispering it as I made love to her, or screaming it as she climaxed with me. I shifted a little in my seat feeling my jeans getting a little too tight for my liking.

Damn it, I hate her; why do I feel this?

Because you love her you dimwit.

Fuck you.

Great talking to myself, not a good sign of sanity.

I quickly grabbed the microscope in fear of her noticing my Bella induced coma and looked at the third slide.

"Metaphase." I said writing it down once more and then she took the microscope and took another look at it nodding her head briefly and then removing the slide and just sitting there staring at the table with the same frown on her face.

She seemed to be deep in thought and I desperately wanted to know what was she thinking, few more minutes passed in silence until I saw her straightening her back, taking a deep breath and turning to look at me and I found myself screaming in my head for her not to talk to me, because that's what she appeared to be planning on doing. She stared at me for few moments, a small sad smile graced her plump lips, and then she parted them and started speaking,

"I know you don't want to talk to me," she whispered in a broken voice, which in turn broke my heart; she sounded so… dead, and I didn't like it, not one fucking bit.

"And I know that I don't deserve for any of you to give me the time of day, but I just want you to know that I've never stopped loving you," she stared into my eyes when she said the last two words and I felt a powerful tugging to my chest, "All of you, and I wish things were different but they aren't because I can't bring the past back, I wish I could," she spat the last sentence angrily and gritted her teeth; she closed her eyes and sighed and then opened them again and the look in her eyes was enough to say it all;

"But I can't. But I always loved you and thought of you and you were never out of my thoughts, I just had to do what I did for a reason," she said with hesitation and evident fear in her eyes, "But know that you will always be my best friends, always be in my heart, and I'm sorry if I caused any of you pain or hurt." She finished and raised her hand to speak to Banner; all the while, I was staring at her.

"Yes, Miss. Swan," Banner said,

"I'm finished, may I be excused to the bathroom?" she asked and Banner made his way toward us, he checked our answers and smiled widely.

"Looks like we got our winners, Mr. Cullen and Miss. Swan won the golden onion."

"I don't care about any onions, I just want to go to the bathroom urgently" Bella said rather impatiently and Banner frowned and nodded, she packed her things and stormed out of the class not sparing me even a glance making me gaping after her.

Suddenly, Jasper's words jumped into my head,

_She seems sad and broken, something happened._

_Don't you see how sad and pained she looks?_

_Her broken demeanor, that's what._

And I believe he was right, I could feel it in my bones, even if I refused to acknowledge it before, something happened which caused her to look so broken, so dead and I wanted so badly to remove that look from her face. I wanted to see her smile again and I wanted to hold her in my arms again, because damn it I still love her and not only do I miss her, but I want her back into my life again, broke me or not, I don't care, the words she said to me and the dead look in her eyes said it all.

Something happened and I will be damned if I didn't know what it was.

_**Poor Bella, she is trying to give glimpses to Edward without saying too much. And Rosalie, she has a point in hating on Bella but that hatred will dissipate once she knows the truth behind Bella's miscommunication.**_

_**And Jasper, him and his feeling of emotions; don't you just love him.**_

_**And our beloved Edward, finally looking behind her mask.**_

_**Show me some love and REVIEW. Next chapie will be up soon. **_


End file.
